This is not a look at the economic impact of hosting the Olympic Games, the struggles of Beijing, Tokyo, Sochi, and especially Rio have been well documented hundreds of times over, instead, this is a look at the games themselves and why the Olympics are boring.

Quite simply, The Olympics are not what they’re supposed to be: the pinnacle of athleticism, the destination for the most athletic people in the world to prove they are the best. Now, for the athletes competing, I’m sure it is, but for the viewers, it isn’t.

What Are We Doing?

Let just rip the band aid off and go right for the jugular that is the array of pointless “sports” the Olympics has to offer. While the IOC (International Olympic Committee) made the great decision recently to introduce skateboarding, surfing, and rock climbing to the Olympics, most of the “sports” that have been mainstays for many years need to be rethought.

Race Walking - WHY IS THIS A THING? Speed walking may be a popular activity and exercise, but as a sport? Absolutely not. To prove that Race Walking is a stupid event, the U.S. DIDN’T EVEN ENTER IT. Here are the Men’s 50km Race Walk results from the 2020 Tokyo games, not a single American flag in sight.

Steeplechase - I had never even heard of this before doing research for this article, and after seeing it, I’m a little torn. I mean, I get it from an athletic endurance standpoint, but it’s boring.

Equestrian Dressage - I don’t know where to begin to explain how much of a waste this event is. No disrespect to the craftsmanship that goes into it, but there is 0 athleticism here and it has no place in the Olympics.

Curling - Honest question: what’s the point in having the genders separated? I know there’s a mixed event, but why not have the mixed event be the entire event? This is a “sport” where sex has 0 impact on the outcome, and literally requires 0 athletic ability.

Boxing - Ok, hear me out. I’m not saying that boxing isn’t a sport or entertaining enough to be an Olympic event, but at the Olympics, it’s just taking up space. There are other, endlessly better, boxing events going on in the world on a more regular basis that are way more prestigious than what the Olympics has to offer. It’s like buying a brand name of something, often times there’s nothing special about it other than the name. And that’s all the Olympics has to offer the world of boxing: the title of “Olympic Gold Medalist”, which pales in comparison to “Heavy Weight Champion of the World”.

There are so many other sports out there that require way more athleticism, are more exciting, and yet have never even been considered for the Olympics. For example, Cricket, and have you ever watched a game of Cricket? … It’s weird. But more importantly, it’s athletic and entertaining. And I guarantee you that Cricket is a million times more popular than Speed Walking is as a sport.

What Am I Looking At?

Plain and simple, the Olympics suffers from bad commentary. While they may have a deep knowledge of the sport, they don’t seem to know anything about good commentary. The commentators that are explaining the sport are doing so as if people are already familiar with the sport and its rules. They seem to have forgotten that the Olympics are a global attraction while simultaneously showcasing very niche sports and events. They don’t realize that it’s highly likely that a lot of the people watching are not familiar with whatever it is they’re looking at and are relying on the commentators to guide them through it and explain everything. If you’re going to explain the in-depth strategy of the sport, then you should also explain the basic rules of the sport. That way viewers know, not just what they’re doing, but what they’re trying to achieve (beyond the obvious gold medal).

A good note can be taken from the Nickelodeon broadcast of NFL games. They are very aware of the network they are on and their target audience, and adjust their commentary as needed to make sure that everybody understands.

Final Thought: Let’s bring back Tug of War. Yes, believe it or not, Tug of War was an Olympic event between 1900-1920. While the Olympics may be about countries gathering the best specimens they have to compete against each other for global supremacy, in many of the events, they’re not in direct competition with each other. They’re often on the stage or track trying to win over the judges, or it’s a race against the clock. That being said, no other event would be able to compare to the in-your-face physical dominance of Tug of War. Forget the Kentucky Derby, a literal show of might between two superpowers where the only way to win is to out muscle your opponent would be the greatest two minutes in sports.